


hold me and embrace the chill

by braytray



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Coming Out, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 14:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21459262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braytray/pseuds/braytray
Summary: Magnus just wants Alec to know he's there for him, and that everything is going to be okay as long as they stay together.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	hold me and embrace the chill

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a Human AU. Magnus and Alec have been together for a long time and love each other, and Alec has a lot of anxiety around coming out, but knows he has to. Magnus is there to comfort him. I don't feel like exposition so I'm putting it here.
> 
> Songfic inspired by: "When the Earth Stands Still" by Don MacDonald.

_Come listen in the silence of the forest before rain comes down_

_There's a deep sign in the quiet of the forest and the tall tree's crown_

  


Alec sat on the balcony with his feet up on the ottoman and a glass of wine was balanced in between his fingers. A matching empty glass, along with the bottle, sat waiting on side table for when Magnus got home. Scattered on the couch next to him was the evidence of everyone he had met tonight. Business cards of so-and-so who ran whatever company that his parents has connections with. He was well aware he only got them, and a well-meaning offer to do business sometime, because he was putting up a front.

He knew if all those executives knew the truth about who he was with, they would never deign to even have small talk.

That's not to say he would ever abandon his relationship with Magnus to fit in with them. Truth be told, he'd be happy to build his own network and never have to engage his parents' favorite homophobes ever again. He could do it, too. He had enough of a resume and the experience to get whatever job he wanted. But still, fear was holding him back from the inevitable.

  


_Come listen in the silence of the moment before shadows fall._

_Feel the tremor of your heartbeat matching heartbeat as we both dissolve_

  


Alec heard the door open, then heard Magnus greeting the Chairman, who surely ran up to Magnus as soon as he entered. Then he heard Magnus call out. "Alec, you here?"

"Out here." Magnus made his way out and collapsed on the couch, but not before snatching up the business cards and stealing Alec's glass.

"Let me guess, people you'll never call?"

"Mmhmm." Alec poured another glass, mostly to keep his hands busy. "I just feel like I've been lying to everyone. All these people think I'm just like them and I don't want them to." Magnus threw the cards on the table and laced their free hands. "We've been through this exact thing over and over and I'm just so sick of it." Alec's voice broke a bit.

"We've talked about this, love, you don't have to do anything until you're ready."

"I'm never going to be ready! I just want you to be my boyfriend without being afraid of getting caught. I want to talk about you to my coworkers or people I meet. I just can't do that now." Magnus squeezed Alec's hand.

"I don't blame you for being scared. Your parents are..."

"Terrible?" Magnus rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't going to be _that_ blunt. But yeah." Alec laughed.

  


_Cause there’s no use running_

_Cause the storm's still coming_

_And you've been running for too many years_

  


"I could live without my parents. But they might not let me see Max," Alec's throat closed up at the thought and he put his glass down shakily. Magnus ran a hand up and down his back until Alec could breathe right again. They sat in silence for a while. Alec waited until he felt like he could talk again without bursting into tears, but he didn't have to because Magnus spoke first.

"It might not go well, but I'm still going to be here with you through all of it. So will Izzy, Jace, Clary, you still have people who would love you and support you." Alec nodded. He leaned up and kissed Magnus gently.

"I love you," he said against Magnus's lips.

"I love you too, Alexander."

  


_So stay with me, held in my arms_

_Like branches of a tree_

_They'll shelter you for many years_   
  



End file.
